Sunday, April 12, 2009 | 7:39 PM
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Life can be difficult at times... but you just have to take it in your stride because it has to go on.. I have experienced alot of hardships from time to time but i m proud that i still am fighting for what i believe.. I do not care what people say, telling myself to look on the brighter side of life but who am i kidding... Right now i feel as though i in a rabbit hole but i have to hold on.. it is a complicated matter... what decision i make in future will determine what i am in the future and sometimes i still felt that i am not yet ready.. the truth is i tried to be superman but even superman has problems and difficulty.. wish i could be easy... I do not know what i am searching for in life but i know i want to be a success to help clear my family's name and my dad's name so that people wont look differently on him.. my dad had been wonderful towards me and although he is wrong in his action i know he still loves his family.. Sometimes i think i am following his footsteps... but i am not him... A man has to create his own destiny... mine is uncertain and the future is still raw... still there are decisions to make.. Life's like this....
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Saturday, April 11, 2009 | 1:38 PM
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Im back.. and am tired but it was a fun journey there... enjoye the time with my frens... im sure gonna miss them all... so much... it hurts so bad..... memories are to be kept at heart... well we plan to go phuket next time... looking forward to that too... i love them all .... amazing frens ive ever had....
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Monday, April 6, 2009 | 9:38 PM
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not quite finish.. i turn emotional and i pick up this song recently and its title " a wild world" by cat stevens.. here is the lyrics..,
"Now that i've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'Baby, i'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a child, girl
You know i've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because i never wanna see you a sad, girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware
Chorus
Baby, i love youBut if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware"
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exams are over.. today was the lat paper but the fact that emptiness still fills my heart.. i miss her so much.. but no words can forgive all the wrongs i committed on her.. why is it i am unable to detect my wrong doings.. didnt hear her well enough... feel so frustrated and just angry on myself.. no one to confide to but just to keep it to myself.. guess wat goes around comes around.. the fact that i m my father's son and i feel that im slowly becoming my father.. no doubt i promise myself not to turn to be like him only to follow the good he has done.. everyday im fighting... i cant cry.. always running away hoping that the next day is gonna be alright but it aint alright... i guess this is a test from god on my strength.. and i will hold on... the light is still there and i m holding on.... my time will come... and i will prove to them that i can do it all by myself.. ya im all alone now.. my frens can only see the good things in me but not seeing that i m actually struggling to keep afloat.. struggling is wat her dad sees in me too.... who am i proving to anyway.... life i so unpredictable when a lady tried to commit suicide by jumping off the building and landed just below and i felt helpless unable to help her... she was still breathing though... people shouted at me saying why was i just standing there not helping her.. but she landed in a sslp position which helps to clear her airway and that i dont dare to move her fearing that she might suffer from spinal injury and one move can be fatal if i move her... i explain to them, but people just ignore... i clear the debris around her with a helping neighbour for ease passage for the paramedics to tend to her... and i m guilty feeling that i should have done more... but could i have done more... i m someone who dont deserve to be help... it is a curse bounded to the name my grandma gave me....i can only express it in words..and i m sorry to evryone i ever hurt...
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